Jokes. “Mitzvah Gedolah Le’hiyot Besimcha Tamid,” it is a great mitzvah (commandment) to always be in a state of happiness. When a person is happy they are much more capable of serving God and going about their daily activities than when depressed or upset. Funny, clean Jewish Jokes. One sunny afternoon in New York, a priest was out shopping and he met, quite by chance,…
Suppose you’re traveling to work and you see a stop sign. What do you do? That depends on how you apply exegesis to the sign. 1.A postmodernist deconstructs the sign (i.e., he knocks it over with his car), thus ending forever the tyranny of the north-south traffic over the east-west traffic. 2.Similarly, a Marxist sees a stop sign as an instrument of class conflict. He concludes that the bourgeoisie use the north-south road and obstruct the progress of the workers on the east-west road. 3.A serious and educated Catholic believes that he cannot understand the stop sign apart from its interpretive community and their tradition. Observing that the interpretive community doesn’t take it too seriously, he doesn’t feel obligated to take it too seriously either. 4.An average Catholic (or Orthodox or Coptic or Anglican or Methodist or Presbyterian or whatever) doesn’t bother to read the sign but he’ll [...]
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If the exodus story were written to fit the times… The cycle of violence between the Jews and the Egyptians continues with no end in sight in Egypt. After eight previous plagues that have destroyed the Egyptian infrastructure and disrupted the lives of ordinary Egyptian citizens, the Jews launched a new offensive this week in the form of the ...
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: "In six months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water and all the evil people are destroyed. But I want to save a few good people, and two of every kind of living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build Me an Ark." And in a flash of lightning He delivered th ...
When we present God’s holy law, And arguments from scripture draw, objectors say, to pick a flaw, ‘It’s Jewish.’ Though at the first the Eternal One blessed be He sanctified His day of rest, the same belief is still expressed, ‘It’s Jewish.’ Though with the world this rest began, And thence through all Scri ...
The Gaza Flotilla participants explain how they can con the world. Here comes a time When we need to make a show For the world, the Web and CNN There’s no people dying, so the best that we can do Is create the greatest bluff of all We must go on pretending day by day That in Gaza, there’s crisis, hunger and plague Coz the billion bucks ...
In Seville Spain, local people found a way to stop the construction of another mosque in their town. They buried a pig on the site, and made sure this would be known by the local press. The Islamic rules forbid the erecting of a Mosque on “pig soiled ground.” The Muslims had to cancel the project. This land was sold to them by gov ...
Week of Jan. 3 2010 – Jan 9, 2010 Best Internet Jewish, clean Videos of the Week. Best new internet videos, best music video and funny video. A Joke now, then the videos: Tales of the Rebbes Three hasidim are bragging about their Rebbes: "My rebbe is very powerful. He was walking once, and there was a big lake in his path. He waved his h ...
Week of Dec. 27 2009 – Jan 2, 2010 Best Internet Jewish, clean Videos of the Week. Best new internet videos, best music video and funny video. Jewish humour is the long tradition of humour in Judaism dating back to the Torah and the Midrash, but generally refers to the more recent stream. Jewish humour is rooted in several traditions. The fir ...
God’s army Rabbi Landau was standing near the synagogue exit shaking hands as his congregation left. But as Max was leaving, Rabbi Landau grabbed his hand, pulled him aside and said, "Max, I think you need to join the Army of God!" "But I’m already in God’s Army, Rabbi," Max replied. "So how come I donR ...
Can I buy An hour of your time? A man came home from work late, tired and irritated. His five-year-old son was waiting for him at the door with a question, "Dad, how much money do you make an hour dad?" "That’s none of your business! How dare you ask!" the father said angrily. "Please tell me," pleaded the little ...
An old Jew had a parrot. After years of reciting his daily prayers, the man discovered that his parrot had learned to pray. On Rosh Hashana, he brought the parrot to synagogue and boasted that his parrot could daven. The congregants started betting whether the parrot would pray, and the old man happily took bets that eventually totaled $50,000. &nb ...
Dyslexic Rabbi? Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi? He walks around saying, "Yo." A Rabbi and the Pope A Rabbi visiting Rome had the good fortune to have an audience with the Pope. While talking about things, the Rabbi noticed a red phone on the Pope’s desk. The Rabbi asks what the phone was for. The Pope informs him that it̵ ...
A Canadian tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. The tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through a red light, without even slowing down. At the next intersection the light was green and, to the Canadian’s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the drive ...
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